You guys are all suckers. By “you” I of course mean “those of you who haven’t figured out the trick of getting governments to pay for your vacations by calling them research, and are instead funding my vacations with your tax money.” I’m currently ensconced in a snug cottage on a very scenic Swedish fjord. It’s an uninhabited island with internet access, a sauna, and decent fishing – er, I mean, a good bridge from which to test instruments and do other Important Research. Haha!

This has all convinced me of the unassailable correctness of my chosen career path – I mean, who other than the earth scientists can get government money to go snorkeling in the South Pacific, hiking in arbitrarily chosen mountain ranges, and skiing in Antarctica? I am filled with utter glee and smugness.

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