Most of the time my menstrual pimples are the little kind that you can scratch off without noticing, but this time they were all low-relief throbbing horrors. You know, the wide, flat kind where the zit-pus pressure builds up all day until you feel like your face is full of maggots. They’re mostly gone now, but between that and the bleeding and the foreshocks of an oncoming cold, the past couple days I felt like I was in the early stage of a radiation-induced transformation to Inside-Out Girl.

Unfortunately I didn’t gain any super powers.

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