Jane’s Packing Hints

Jane was a diplomat’s daughter; she’s moved a whole bunch. Here she is now.

  • Spread all your things all over the floor so you can’t move. Stare at them, and realize how completely fucking hopeless your task is.
  • Alternate compressible things with incompressible things. Make your books look as much like clothes as possible (I’m not entirely sure what this means, but then, most of my 6 hours of sleep last night was spent dreaming about Joan Rivers getting a new facelift that explodes into horrible horrible purple oysters and bronchial tubes when she sneezes during an appearance on my talk show).
  • Do the small stuff last.
  • Rinse, lather, repeat.

Oh, yes, she refuses to take the blame for my many alterations of her original advice. But I still blame her for the bit about Joan Rivers; her and her wacky chickpea substance. Zoinks.

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