Starry-Eyed Youths

It’s college-picking time among the nation’s high school seniors. You can tell, because they’re all wandering around campus, sitting in on the randomest of random classes and asking questions like, what’s the average class size?, are the professors friendly? or what about a triple major in physics, astronomy and literature?

The official Campus Fun Fun Weekend is two weeks away and I’m so conscious of my own age-varnished bitterness, my butt is sprouting a porch swing. C’mere, you goddamned whippersnappers, I’ll show you what it’s like to be whacked with a stout cane every time you do a physics problem – that’s discipline! And get the hell off my lawn!

More to say. Far too hungry. Maybe later. SAMMICH.


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