Rampaging Hordes of Someones

doodled giraffe head with sunglasses
Does any of this constitute valid market research? Do I need market research? I feel like I need a panel of bored ten-year-olds to say dumb irrelevant things about the cartoon giraffes I drew during today’s evolutionary psychology lecture.

most disgusting candy item *ever*: gummy diapers. Seen

Ughr. Pressed button too soon. Gummy diapers. From “Bon-bon”. White foamy
wine gum and yellow-brown gum on top. Disgusting.

Yes, but what a great tasteless gag gift! Gummy diapers are almost certainly nicer than those little toilets that make farting sounds. Maybe not as nice as a bag of chocolate penises, but then, you can’t ask for too much from your potty-mouthed friends and coworkers.

I never metacognitive process I didn’t like.

I, on the other hand, have met several cognitive processes I didn’t like. Some of them were even metacognitive processes. Madam, you are obviously insufficiently judgemental about these things; I hope you have a good therapist.

Why do we drive on the highway and get high on the driveway?

Because we don’t know the first thing about good places to get high.

Why do you send shipments by car and packages by UPS?

Why do you accuse me of such a thing? Like any red-blooded patriotic American who is too lazy to walk the extra block to the UPS pickup, I send both shipments and packages through the USPS. Long may she issue stamps about sea cucumbers.

Wherever you go, there you are.

And to think I’m paying $20,000 a year for a college education.

Take up Embroidery.

Embroidery with a capital E? Like, doing little heraldic devices on dressing-gowns for the nobility? I’m not sure I have the patience for that sort of thing.

Try the swinging penguin – red bull and tequila! (2-1)

Actually, I’ve been trying to even out my sleep patterns, so I’ve sworn off caffeine in the evenings. Plus I’ve never been fond of tequila. But I’ll pass your recommendation on to my caffeine-swilling alcoholic friends.

i am sacramentally in vain over the coasters to the right of you, say!

Roller coasters? Or the kind of coasters that protect your furniture?

One should give trivial matters much consideration and serious matters
little consideration

And what kind of consideration should two give? Three?

Criminy, I’m giving out ludicrous smart-ass responses. I need a nap. Or partial differential equations. Or a banana, peanut butter and honey sandwich. Good night.


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