Joys of Bandwidth; Stuff

It’s a background exhaustion you don’t even notice, coupled with the throbbing stress headache of the soul that only comes from four-hour exams on which you do not do very well, that makes this time of year so special. So now, being done with all but one midterm, when I should be working on those two late homework sets I deprioritized this weekend, I’m listening to the crown jewels of Song Fight!, hoping for something mindboggling. The theory is that contestants get a song title, and have two weeks to write and record something grand. The results are mixed – I keep hoping I’ll stumble upon some method for selecting only wacky, so-bad-they’re-good entries rather than mundane, crap-garage-band entries, but thus far no luck.

The other great thing about exam weeks is remembering to appreciate showers – nothing feels quite so good as a shower when you’re trying to procrastinate. But – and this is a huge but – the Salon Selectives sneak has struck again! I am left with neither shampoo nor conditioner and my hair is getting greasy and tangly. Those hair-care products were given to me by my mother, as a Christmas present, you cold-hearted fucknose!

So I’m really truly going to fill a decoy bottle with bleach this time. Has anyone else resorted to tricks like this? Has it worked? Do you have any advice?

[link via livingtech]


  1. des wrote:

    If someone gets bleach in their eye you could be held responsible. Why not add something embarassing but harmless like dye to regular shampoo instead?

  2. grid wrote:

    I suggest nair. although I suppose that’s bad for their eyes too, huh?
    btw, I’m starting to find songfight sad as well. I think there must be some pathetic-level of songwriting that you have to be at in order to participate. Or maybe it’s just that mediocrity is all that a week of songwriting allows… whatever the case, it’s still damn fun to download the whole week’s batch and vote on your favorite… (what happened to this week though?)

  3. lisa wrote:

    You could do the opposite: put your Salon Selectives in a bleach bottle and leave that in the shower.

  4. yami wrote:

    My original thought was to add bleach to the shampoo, and dye to the conditioner… both in low enough concentrations to still work a little bit, without being a serious threat to eyes. But I’m not sure such concentrations would have any visible effect at all, especially if it’s a dark-haired thief I’m dealing with.
    Now I’m thinking food coloring.

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