Hog Sweat

The owner of the air conditioner came to take it back today. I have no more air conditioner. Would anyone care to trade their first bite of fall for highs in the 90s to around 104? Please? It’s mostly a dry heat, really, you’ll love it. As long as you’re not sensitive to ozone.

Meanwhile, why doesn’t anyone design a weight-lifting machine that won’t squish the user’s breasts? I would like to become buff without having to constantly reposition my boobs under, around or on top of the ergonomic safety cushions. Thank you.

Comments

  1. Dennis wrote:

    Would anyone care to trade their first bite of fall for highs in the 90s to around 104?
    Not at this moment, thanks. Try again in a few months?

  2. des wrote:

    Meanwhile, why doesn’t anyone design a weight-lifting machine that won’t squish the user’s breasts?
    They have: it’s called a “barbell”. Enjoy!

  3. yami wrote:

    My objections to barbells are numerous, but are mostly summed up by:
    1) They’re not shiny.
    2) I can drop them on my toes.
    Not being shiny is the important bit.

  4. Kat wrote:

    My roommate and I just laughed hysterically at the boobs bit. We don’t know where to put ours either…

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