None the Wiser

Here I am, back in Iowa minus all four of my wisdom teeth, which were removed this morning while I was under heavy sedation. Very heavy sedation – I don’t remember a thing about the operation, except trying and failing to stand up when it was over. Apparently I was a hoot on the way home – I just babbled on unintelligibly, mouth stuffed full of gauze and lower lip numb and swollen, and Mom swears she had to pull over and ask me to stop lest she pee her pants laughing.

Twelve hours later, my head feels full of gauze, or Vicodin, or whatever, and I just spent several minutes stirring a packet of powdered cheese into a mug of warm milk, wondering why it wasn’t brown and if those little white clumps were supposed to be fake marshmellows. But I can remember things that happened an hour ago, and speak in my usual semi-coherent fashion, so my recovery is well under way. The chicken soup must be working.


  1. chris wrote:

    I absolutely enjoyed getting my wisdom teeth out as it sounds you did, they gave me all sorts of wonderful hypnotic gases and soporific fluids that are not at all legal or available at most college parties. I only wish they would grow back, so I could do at all again.
    Hope the swelling doesn’t get bad, if it does of course try popsicles and/or icecream.

  2. chris wrote:

    you should check out the Lnadover Baptist Store online if you haven’t yet, its perdy hilarious.

  3. Anonymous wrote:


  4. chris wrote:

    “tricksters are sacred and profane bricoleurs”

  5. yami wrote:

    I don’t know what kind of college parties you go to… but anyway, they didn’t gas me, just gave me Valium out the wazoo. Through an IV. I hate having needles sitting in my arm. So I wouldn’t say I enjoyed having them out, per se – my jaw is a bit sore (time for more painkillers!), and falling asleep on Vicodin gets old pretty quick – but it was certainly more fun than my physics final.
    Landover Baptist is hi-larious – if I only could stand the butt floss effect, I’d buy myself some Jesified thongs straight away.

  6. chris wrote:

    wazoo is such a wonderful word

  7. Kat wrote:

    Please tell me you didn’t drink the powdered cheese befored you figured out what it was…

  8. yami wrote:

    Nope, I wasn’t quite that far out of it. Though I came close…

  9. Eloriane wrote:

    But powdered cheese is so tasty! I am not allowed to make mac and cheese on my own anymore because I eat all the cheese : ) someone has to help me
    lol, I am so pathetic…

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