I failed to mention, in and among all the jaw-busting tooth-extraction, that when I checked my suitcase onto the airplane, the check-in lady forgot to ask me if I had any exploding things inside. It was one of the most baffling things that has ever happened to me in an airport. Anyone could have handled my luggage, stolen all my underwear, replaced it with a big bomb, and I would have been none the wiser (strange people putting explosives in my luggage is the sort of thing I don’t notice at 5 in the morning, you see, unless the check-in lady asks).
That lackluster anecdote aside, let me inform you that my bottom jaw hurts, even with the gigantic ibuprofen, because they had to drill sideways and upside-down all over it so the teeth would come out. Also, I’m getting a bit creeped out by my stitches – I’ve never had any before, and now I can just barely feel these little thread-things with the tip of my tongue, and they feel like pointy leeches or flesh-burrowing bits of hay. So a question for those of you who have torn yourselves up more than I: is this how stitches always feel, or is there just something extra-disturbing about foreign objects in the very back of your mouth?