Crow Man Attacks L.A.
There is a man in the park across the street who sounds exactly like a crow or perhaps a scrub jay. I would swear that he was a crow, but crows don’t have such varied intonation; this guy is cawing up and down the scale like a drunk operatic soprano. So it must be a man. (NB: I am too lazy to look outside my window to confirm this.)
I think he’s got a kid along – they’ve been having some kind of unintelligible conversation. This is scary; are they going to lead all the crows in communist revolution? Or even worse, objectivist revolution?
Our only hope lies in pigeons, the staunchest status quo moderates of the bird kingdom.