Things I’ve Never Done

1. I have never laughed so hard and so unexpectedly that stuff spurted out of my nose. This is a problem with a) my sinuses or b) my sense of humor, but which? Tell me, I implore you.
2. I’ve never been to Burning Man. I’d list that as a reason to quit my job, but tickets are pricey, so I’d need to have money (ergo job) to go. Meanwhile, the list of reasons to build a hydrograph-producing Yami-droid is outgrowing its humble Post-It.
3. I’ve never felt so compellet to make up an offensive joke as I did right after reading this post. What’s the difference between a homosexual and a Hindu?

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