Fat Free Half and Half

A clear case of government underregulation of the dairy industry: Fat Free Half & Half. Or, rather, sneaky loophole-exploitation by Land O’ Lakes, as the official definition of half and half stipulates that it must contain between 10.5% and 18% milkfat.

I demand a more restrictive labeling regime, preferably one where dubious coffee creamers have well-defined geographic labels. Land O’ Lakes products should be produced in Minnesota, and Minnesota only, or they lose the subtle flavor of authenticity! This “suppliers in Wisconsin” shit will not fly. Similarly, “fat free half and half” should be relabeled “fat free enhanced dairy product”.

That is all. Good night.

Trackbacks & Pings

  1. Classical Values on 29 Aug 2006 at 5:53 am

    The halves and half-nots (and other risk-free dangers)…

    In a fit of hurried grocery shopping yesterday, I carelessly grabbed a container of what I thought said “Half and Half” for my morning coffee. Unfortunately, I missed reading the words “Fat Free.” No excuse; it wasn’t even fine print…….


  1. Rana wrote:

    Fat-free half-and-half? Ew.
    Reminds me of the time one of my roommates had bought some low-fat ice “cream”. While it was still around, our fridge died and so we were having to throw out all the thawed and melted stuff in the freezer compartment. Except that this substance did not melt — it became jiggly. Like beige Jello. Bleah!

  2. yami wrote:

    Ewwwww. I mean, I’m all for beige jello, especially if it’s got apples or something inside. But it’s poor form to go around calling it ice cream.

  3. batman wrote:

    Great Gotham! I don’t know how this can be.

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