You Know You’re From Where You’re From When
Although there are two supplements to the water post laying around in draft form, I can’t allow so much seriousness on the front page at once. So, it’s time to play the “find a list of ways in which you know you’re from a place and mock it” game. AHEM.
Per the rules of the game, statements with a particularly sonorous ring of truth are in bold, and inaccurate generalizations are italicized.
You Know You’re From Where You’re From When:
- Your area experiences unusual weather.
- You, and others in your area, enjoy talking about the unusual weather.
- As a result of the unusual weather, your understanding of the terms “hot” and “cold” is different from conventional notions.
- You measure distance between two points by referring to the amount of time it takes to travel from one to the other.
- People from other places would be shocked at your blasé attitude towards a natural disaster which periodically affects the place you’re from.
- You are familiar with the local freeway system.
- You know how to spell and pronounce the name of a local town, village, or burb, which is often misspelled and/or mispronounced by others.
- You’ve met one celebrity in your life, and it was a minor celebrity who lives in the same place you’re from.
- You often manifest a certain verbal tic common to your area.
- People sure do drive funny.
- You often manifest a certain verbal tic common to an area slightly north, south, east, or west of where you’re from. – yeah right, this list isn’t about the place some other people are from.
- You understand that your climate can be characterized by four seasons with hilariously nonstandard names.
- You use an unusual part of your body for pointing or other gestures.
- You think the four major food groups are comprised of two agricultural products grown where you’re from, the meat from a kind of animal common to where you’re from, and an alcoholic beverage. – mmm, alcoholic beverage!
- You know many people who attended college at a large university near the place you’re from.