Spoons
The spoon is not a predator. Consider the following:
- The spoon has a rounded head, reflecting a panoramic view of its surroundings. Predators, by contrast, have vision focused straight ahead.
- How often, soup aside, do you eat meat with a spoon?
The spoon is a puddingvore, honed by years of evolution to subsist primarily on yogurt, tapioca, and applesauce. Spoons can survive on beef stew, but if we’re going to insist that our spoons adopt a diet contrary to nature, we shouldn’t be surprised if they are susceptible to illness. Proper care and feeding for your spoons can reduce the need for expensive large-scale antibiotic treatments in the silverware drawer.
Rana wrote:
I love this.
What do you make of sporks? Predators adopting the appearance of their prey? Omnivore scavengers?
Posted 28 Jun 2020 at 5:19 pm ¶
yami wrote:
Sporks are kind of like mules – you can’t make ‘em do much they don’t want to do, and they’re infertile.
Posted 28 Jun 2020 at 7:18 pm ¶
Rana wrote:
Somehow that explains a lot. Poor li’l’ annoying sporks.
Hmmm… if you crossed them the other way, would a “foon” be the utensil equivalent of a hinny? (Also sterile, but far more graceful.)
Posted 30 Jun 2020 at 2:59 pm ¶