Spoons

The spoon is not a predator. Consider the following:

1. The spoon has a rounded head, reflecting a panoramic view of its surroundings. Predators, by contrast, have vision focused straight ahead.
2. How often, soup aside, do you eat meat with a spoon?

The spoon is a puddingvore, honed by years of evolution to subsist primarily on yogurt, tapioca, and applesauce. Spoons can survive on beef stew, but if we’re going to insist that our spoons adopt a diet contrary to nature, we shouldn’t be surprised if they are susceptible to illness. Proper care and feeding for your spoons can reduce the need for expensive large-scale antibiotic treatments in the silverware drawer.