Political Gear Extravaganza
I went down to the local Democratic headquarters last night, to purchase swag and scope out volunteer opportunities with the youth-oriented partisan institution. Actually joining the Young Dems would be an unseemly affront to my cultivated lefty-swing-voter image, but one must occasionally sacrifice ideology to build an effective grassroots apparatus, sigh.
The rest of this post will be about swag.
- Why, after 23 years of silent and effective oppression, is my inner hipster fashionista suddenly insisting on the Most Very Perfect Campaignwear? There was a fabulous retro-esque design, not this one but meant to evoke a similar demographic – and the red one was only available in kids’ sizes. OH TEH NOOOOES!!!!one!!!
Actually, now that I think about it, it’s not so much “retro-esque” as “Abercrombie” and I kinda feel like what happens when you put a hipster and a twelve year old suburban-brand yuppie in a giant kaleidoscope death match. And a sellout. Giant kaleidoscope hipster/tweenyuppie death match sellout.
Anyway, I bought a markedly inferior grey ringer-shirt version of the aforementioned shirt, which has set me on a hunt for the One True Election-Season Apparel.
- The classiest thing on Cafepress so far is the Kerry’s a Commie Camisole. Alas, wrong side. John Kerry, kung fu master is a step in the right direction, but lacks the required chutzpah. Shirts on Cafepress are fundamentally limited by an uninspiring palette of neutral background tones. Bright red, though key, is unavailable.
- The Cafepress merchandising for Barbara Boxer, on the other hand, is utterly dismal – barely a pair of custom-decorated boxers to exploit the easy pun. She has failed to receive even the shirt-borne endorsements of astrology! I’ve been thinking up spectacularly vapid and tasteless ways to remedy the situation. If they’re still funny after a good night’s sleep and some time in Adobe Illustrator, maybe I’ll even follow through.
- Oh, right, sleep.