No Vegetables for the Poor

My high school government teacher was a firm believer in the notion that poor mothers, if left to their own devices, would feed their children nothing but tequila and Cadillacs. So she was a huge fan of the WIC program and its restrictive couponing system, which might finally supply fresh fruits and vegetables maybe. Currently, the WIC food package assumes that one’s vitamins should be obtained primarily from fruit and vegetable juices, and cheese. Lots of cheese! In fact, additional cheese may be issued to lactose intolerant persons!*

What’s that you say, Mr. Welch’s Grape Juice and Mr. Dairy Association?

Children who don’t drink juice will drink soda and tequila and Cadillacs instead! And Mongolian herders live quite happily on mare’s milk alone, you know, for whole winters, and you don’t see them asking the U.S. government for spinach, do you? Besides, nothing in the whole universe is an acceptable source of dietary calcium but milk and milk products.

Well, those are good points. I bet those herders would like some grape juice now and then to relieve the monotony of their grape-juice-less diets.

I haven’t found an appropriate email address, but here’s some generic WIC program contact information, in case you want to phone, fax, or snail-mail to ask that grape juice for Mongolian herders be included in the USDA’s subsidy programs.

* I assume some lactose intolerant persons can tolerate cheese. However, neither of my two lactose intolerant roommates were able to do so, and my anecdotes trump your transparently silly regulatory capture, Mr. Dairy Association.


  1. des von bladet wrote:

    If you’re not using all that cheese and tequila and Cadillacs, can I have some please?

  2. yami wrote:

    Well if you’re not getting free money from the government for being poor, I don’t see how you could possibly afford it. However if you’re lactose intolerant (or possibly vegan) I might be able to swing you some cheese.

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