Part the First: Look at how I’m defined by the Infinite Teen Slang Generator!
n. a female, particularly a nice one.
“Reggie, that yami is nice!”
Part the Second: How many times have I mentioned that I lived in a dorm with a coed naked hot tub? Clearly not enough to garner a significant audience, as is the way of the world – but surely once or twice. And the discussion of men and nipples in church made me think back on what made me comfortable, or not, as a potential ogle-ee.
It seems to me that there are four types:
- Men who don’t see women as full-fledged human beings.
- Men who do manage to see women as human beings, but not as sexual beings, or have a classic virgin/whore dichotomy problem.
- Men who see women as both human and sexual beings, but not at the same time. They’re well-behaved, but sometimes shift from normal eye contact to a desperate staring contest. You can see the “oh shit I wasn’t supposed to notice or feel anything now I’m stuck” whirling ’round – an admirable sentiment, perhaps, but still an awkward moment.
- Men who are fun to be around in a coed naked hot tub.
Obviously you can cook the categories to apply to women, or same-sex ogling, or whatever other genders and sexualities you’ve been streaking campus with lately. The point is, I saw an awful lot of young men successfully move from category 3 to category 4; while I can’t speak to their inner experiences, from the outside it just doesn’t seem that difficult. Contrariwise, there was one notable instance of someone moving from utter misogyny, to at least a theoretical acceptance of women as both human and sexual (in practice it didn’t always work out so well) – and clearly freaking the fuck out every step of the way.
Learning to accept the inevitable moments of sexual tension and let them pass, without getting all in a lather – it strikes me as the same thing that happens in meditation, letting your thoughts go and returning to your breath, again and again. Practice, isn’t it?
Part the Third: I’m going to Seattle tonight. At this point I can safely say that I’ll be leaving LA this summer/fall, driving north along the Pacific Coast until I hit grad school. How far north, exactly, I dunno – thus the going to Seattle – but if you’re so inclined, now would be a good time to cast some pearls of grad-school-choosing wisdom.
Part the Fourth, while we’re discussing my geography: I’m also planning a trip to Europe in July. The itinerary is Iceland – Norway with family, then Norway – Denmark – ??? – London? doing the backpacking thing with my sister. Any readers out there willing to show two delightful young tourists a good time?