Mr. Clean on the Path to Anti-Feminism

Via Feministe comes news that Mr. Clean is adopting the language of feminism:

This spring and summer, Mr. Clean MagicReach is empowering women across America to free themselves from the tiresome task of household cleaning with the plea to Take Back Your Saturday Morning!

Mr. Clean MagicReach is a new and innovative tool from Mr. Clean that makes cleaning the bathroom easier, faster, and less physically demanding. So, now that you won’t have to spend your Saturday morning cleaning the bathroom, Mr. Clean MagicReach invites you to spend your newfound time celebrating you!

I bet Mr. Clean will be going up to hot MILFs at these seminars and telling them about his pro-feminist activities. I imagine him saying “I respect women! Please see how clean and comfortable the inside of my tour bus is!” while the sun sparkles off his shiny clean head. Then when the hot MILFs go back to their toilets and children without having sex with him, he’ll get really angry and scrub the shit out of his tour bus to keep from exploding. But the tour bus can only be so sparkling! Mr. Clean will have some serious pent up sexual and emotional energy to deal with.

This is how the bitterest anti-feminists are born. Wait a year or so, and we’ll be seeing Mr. Clean stomp around in a leather jacket, packaging free razor blades with his new Mr. Clean MagiProtect Your Bathtub from Bloodstains When You Fake a Suicide Attempt, You Whiny Bitch - because after all, women don’t like nice guys.

Trackbacks & Pings

  1. Year-End Bloggy Wrap-Up on 11 Nov 2020 at 12:58 pm

    […] Funniest: Mr. Clean on the Path to Anti-Feminism […]

Comments

  1. Lauren wrote:

    Holy shit!
    I don’t say this lightly, but LOL.

  2. Rana wrote:

    BWAH!

  3. Rana wrote:

    (I don’t think I’ve ever spent a Saturday morning cleaning my bathroom. Ever. My solution would not be Mr. Clean, but lower standards or a “Here. If the bathroom bothers you so much, _you_ clean it.”)

  4. yami wrote:

    That’s my solution too. The bathroom bothers me maybe every couple of months. Takes about twenty minutes to clean - though I do need to do some serious grout bleaching in the shower before moving out.
    Someday, I’m’a buy my own house and have black grout.

  5. Rana wrote:

    Black grout would be an excellent idea! Or orange.
    Actually, being nearly blind without my glasses works pretty well, too. If I can’t see it, it ain’t there!

  6. yami wrote:

    It wouldn’t bother me at all if it weren’t for that pesky security deposit… my landlord wears glasses, but I think he’d cotton on if I tried to make him take them off for the inspection.

  7. Rana wrote:

    Yeah, there is that.
    I’m not really looking forward to my landlord cleanse either.

  8. grid wrote:

    hysterical.

  9. Feministe » Massive Link Round-up wrote:

    […] In another post, she suggests a feminist adoption of black tile grout in order to thwart Mr. Clean’s new marketing campaign. Body and Soul picks up on the […]

  10. Sabine wrote:

    “Wait a year or so, and we’ll be seeing Mr. Clean stomp around in a leather jacket, packaging free razor blades with his new Mr. Clean MagiProtect Your Bathtub from Bloodstains When You Fake a Suicide Attempt, You Whiny Bitch - because after all, women don’t like nice guys.”
    HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!! and also, HAAAAAAAA!

  11. Pandagon wrote:

    Round-up read from Feministe
    Okay, keeping ‘em coming fast and furious. This one is from Lauren at Feministe, since I just referenced her cat problem. Feminism Green Gabbro is “shocked! that people who call themselves liberals could be so eager to distance themselves from…

  12. Padraig wrote:

    Sweet Jesus, save us from the ‘nice guys’

  13. Verlch wrote:

    Way wahh boo hoo, feminism is for the birds. Do you think if she does less cleaning she will put out more? As a wife? Who else is suppose to put out to the husband?

  14. Patrarch Verlch wrote:

    This will give women more time to make babies, before the west dies!

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