Hello World

Welcome, Gentle Reader, to my new series of Internet tubes. You’ll notice that I haven’t completely unpacked – there’s no pretty banner at the top, the blogroll is woefully incomplete (it’s probably even missing your blog!), and my profile page is not nearly as verbose as it could be. It’ll get there in time.

You can expect to see this space filled in the future with rocks, water, progressive identity politics, primal screams of terror associated with my master’s thesis (due in May) and/or my upcoming wedding (September), and maybe some lolcats. Oh, and pie – I am quite keen on pie. If you’re familiar with the old Green Gabbro, though, you may notice a change…

I’m finally blogging under my real name
Is this unwise? I don’t know. Maybe. It certainly feels scary, especially since I’m only a few months away from a job hunt.

Then again, my pseudonymity has been mostly a joke for most of the 6+ years I’ve been blogging. I’ve already suffered the embarrassment of a professional acquaintance Googling me in search of my email address, only to find not just my blog, but a recent quote’n’link entry about someone’s clever literary analysis of the sex scene in Brokeback Mountain. My parents and in-laws read my blog. I can’t really use it to vent, spread libelous rumors, or reveal the titillating details of my sex life. Clearly, all the fun has already been sucked out of my writing, leaving behind a shambling blog-golem made up of nothing but dry facts about boring old rocks – and that’s why I was invited to join ScienceBlogs.

I was talking about this with a purple-haired friend. He told me that even in the traditionally anything-goes field of computer programming, and even in San Francisco, he found several prospective employers willing to tear his resume to shreds as soon as they saw him. He also found some who immediately assumed he was a genius, because why would someone of only average abilities handicap themselves with purple hair?

Fortunately, I have the economic wherewithal to wait, at least for a little while, for an employer to read this blog and decide that I must be a genius (or at least that I know how to write).

I will make one concession to the professional panopticon, though. From now on, there will be much less fuc feh foo pottymouth. This apparently means keeping a carton of strike-out jokes on hand for a quick substitute whenever I get the urge to swear, which is all the time fracking fudge time.


  1. Chris Rowan wrote:

    Pah. You go out into the field for a couple of days and you miss all the important news…

    Welcome! About time Scienceblogs assimilated another geologist. It is, after all, the only proper science.

  2. Mike Haubrich, FCD wrote:

    Hell Heck, just from this intro post I would hire you in a heartbeat. A New York Minute. I am sure that after all this science study you probably aren’t going to be looking for work at a call center in a bank.

    Welcome to ScienceBlogs. I look forward to your stuff!

    Blogroll me. (hint)

  3. PhysioProf wrote:

    From now on, there will be much less fuc feh foo pottymouth.

    That totally fucking sucks.

  4. DrugMonkey wrote:

    “Clearly, all the fun has already been sucked out of my writing, leaving behind a shambling blog-golem made up of nothing but dry facts about boring old rocks – and that’s why I was invited to join ScienceBlogs.”

    You too, eh? PP, I think the Frosh Class of 08 is going to have some fun with the geezers…..

    Welcome Maria, and really, don’t encourage PhysioProf. He needs no additional excuses to be foul.

  5. Maria Brumm wrote:

    Chris: I’d feel sorry for you, if you hadn’t been in the field.

    Mike: Thanks! And I am so sad that strikeouts don’t work in comments. I’ll have to bug the tech team overlords.

    PhysioProf: Fuck you! I mean. Um…. Shit.

  6. ScienceWoman wrote:

    Welcome to the family!

  7. Coturnix wrote:

    Welcome to The Family! (has to be capitalized)

  8. Ken Clark wrote:

    Congrats on the move:) now that you have been assimilated by the bor….sciblogs, hope to see more of your writtings

  9. BJN wrote:

    I couldn’t subscribe to your RSS feed (validator said 404).

    I picked up on your scienceblogs debut via a diatreme over at Pharyngula. It’s okay if you talk rocks.

  10. Maria Brumm wrote:

    BJN: Hmm. Try again? I’ve just changed it so the link points directly to the XML, and not to Feedburner’s goofy menu page.

  11. PhysioProf wrote:

    I’ve just changed it so the link points directly to the XML, and not to Feedburner’s goofy menu page.

    Am I the only one left around here that has no clue what that means?

  12. Zuska wrote:

    Yay! Hello! Welcome! It’s so good to have you for a Scibling!

  13. Phoenix Woman wrote:

    Oh, no! Someone cops to using the language every single other person in America uses 24/7! My delicate sensibilities!

  14. Reed Braden wrote:

    Yay! A geologist! Welcome to the interwebnets and my RSS feed.

  15. PhysioProf wrote:

    Hi, PW!

  16. Laelaps wrote:

    Damn my infernal lack of manners; I forgot to say “Hello!” before responding to your other post. It’s good to have you on ScienceBlogs and I was definitely pleasantly surprised when I found out about your arrival this morning.

  17. delagar wrote:

    Green Gabbro! Yay! Will there be Friday rock blogging?

  18. Maria Brumm wrote:

    Yes! There will be Friday rock blogging, and less intermittently than there has been lately – I hope.

    But not today.

  19. PirateHooker wrote:

    fuck that shit

  20. tim wrote:

    Rocks are the unloved springtime harvest on a potato farm – will stop by some to see if you do them justice.

  21. Karen wrote:

    Let me echo the above sentiments – though I swear I said those exact words upon reading PZ’s advert –

    Yay! A geologist!

    Welcome aboard!

  22. Skeptic8 wrote:

    Speakin’ of fossils, I’m an ancient (retired) Texas geologist with producing property. I’ll be checkin’ in for updates.

  23. cyan wrote:

    So, Green Gabbrio:

    what is gabbrio?

  24. BJN wrote:

    I found the RSS link here in the blog and it indeed works. My earlier attempt was using the link near the top right that took me to a list of blogs. That Green Gabbro feed link is still broken. Cheers!

  25. Sergeant Zim wrote:

    Good to see a Hydrologist with a blog! My father is a retired Hydrologist. he worked with USGS for 20 years, then transferred to BLM where he stayed until retirement. His speciality was the aquifers of Eastern Montana (somewhat seismically active, though not tectonically so).

    At any rate, good luck on the blog!

    BTW, do you know the difference between a geologist and a palentologist?

    The paleo will drink anything fermented, the geo will drink anything distilled…

    You know you’re a REAL geologist if:
    * You can pronounce the word “molybdenite” correctly on the first try.
    * You think the primary function of road cuts is tourist attractions.
    * You own more pieces of quartz than underwear.
    *Your children are named Rocky, Jewel, and Beryl.
    *The baggage handlers at the airport know you by name and refuse to help with your luggage.

    I sincerly hope you don’t take any of your mentors for Granite, and that you receive your Masters degree, Magma Cum Laude.

    You should really consider putting a bumper sticker on your car that say, “Get your rocks off – Date a geologist ”

  26. Andrew Alden wrote:

    Congratulations! And don’t worry about having your name out. It’s like being an artists’ model: the nudity is weird for a few minutes, then it’s OK.

  27. Karen wrote:

    Oh, and I think frakking is fair game =)

  28. BrianR wrote:

    Dang…good stuff…hope you like at SB!

  29. chuck goecke wrote:

    Hi Maria, You ultra mafic Hottie! I’m a relatively new and infrequent poster on PZ’s blog. I feel somewhat close to him, being a U or MN, Morris grad(Geol. ’79 hard rocks, and soft glacial dirt), and some of my Profs still work with him. I definitely can relate to your thesis topic, as I was a card carrying member of the New Mexico Tech Hydro-Thermal Society(Grad school Pet Eng. 81). You see, we found it necessary to fully understand ground water mineral deposition, we needed to sample that ground water as close to its source as possible, preferably at about 40 deg C. We enjoyed getting fully into our studies, up to our necks. Sampling was done into green glass 12 oz bottles, which we enjoyed emptying first. Some of my acquaintances spent inordinate amounts of time digging around Hydro-thermal Pegmatite Quartz deposits looking for shiny yellow metal, for some silly reason. I just wanted to say hi and introduce myself.

  30. Mac from Oregon wrote:

    Welcome! A special treat to have a Hydrologist in the midst of all this soft science stuff. I kind of liked the Green Gabbro handle… I was a geologist in the real world, hearing damaged from churn drills, knees screwed from kneeling on sharp talus slopes, and a wrecked back from hauling way to many pounds of samples out of some damned backwater location. Why are all the good rocks miles from the car? There is a Phd in that question for someone.
    Retirement is fun… Road cuts really are tourist traps!

  31. Matt M wrote:

    I love rocks. I live in Houston, so I have to bring them home from hundreds of miles away, if I want any.

    Good rock science would thrill me.

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