Dear Seattle Landlords: Your House is Not A Craftsman

I currently live in a Craftsman house, and I love it. I would love to move to another one, so I appreciate your attempts to target my demographic with your Craigslist ad. However. The architectural wing of the Arts and Crafts movement produced a particular, recognizable style.

  • Does your roof have a low pitch? Gables? Hips? Luxurious eaves? No.
  • Are there exposed rafters and/or decorative brackets? No.
  • Square pillars? No.
  • What about carefully handcrafted stone or woodwork? Or anything that displays attention to detail and respect for the skill of the artisans who built the home? Goodness no.
  • Is it small? Yes.
  • Does it have wainscoting or some shit? Eh, a couple of the walls change color halfway up.
  • Was it built before the sucker grad students you are trying to rent to were born? Yes? Then what the fuck, call it a Craftsman!
  • “Unit has wonderful craftsman touches including dishwasher, washer and dryer, and microwave”


  1. Lab Lemming wrote:

    Is it built out of a material completely incapable of withstanding shear stresses?

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