Volcanoes Are Good
Two spectacularly awful events occurred in the ocean. Ocean anoxic event 1 (120mya) and 2 (93 mya). Rather unshockingly, the complete lack of oxygen in the oceans led to major extinctions. But what caused the OAE? New evidence strengthens the link between OAE2 and volcanism (but not Vulcans whose large brains are also known to cause major oxygen depletion).
[V]olcanoes are evil and an enemy of our salty friends.
Evil? Just because Earth life is too weak to handle the occasional flood basalt without losing half its species? Why, without volcanoes, there wouldn’t be any life on Earth at all! Let me remind you of just a few of the things volcanoes do for this planet:
- Volcanoes bring water from the Earth’s interior to its exterior. What do you think your salty friends are swimming in – space unicorn pee?
- Volcanoes also flux out CO2, which keeps us warm and cozy. Without volcanoes, we never would have escaped from Snowball Earth.
- Ditto other volatiles. Do you want to try life without volcanic sulfur? I don’t either.
- Volcanoes created the continents (and islands). Without continents, there would be no primeval life-cradling tide pools. Also, we would be mermaids.
- Submarine volcanoes provide a source of energy for all manner of exotic salty friends.
Volcanoes were here before we snotty, ungrateful hydrocarbons metamorphosed from the goo, and volcanoes will be here after we’re gone. They’re not always perfect, but they work their calderas off to provide us with a hospitable surface environment. Punk metazoans oughta show a little more respect.