Solstice Conversations

Caw! Caw caw!
Hi bird. I’m stealing your food. Sucks to be you.
Caw caw caw caw
I’m pretty sure you weren’t gonna eat it anyway or it wouldn’t still be on the bush. And look, there’s a bunch over there I can’t get to. I’m bigger than you. Stop whining.
CAW CAW CAW CAW CAW CAW CAW CAW
:: the crow divebombs me on my way to the next bush ::
CAW CAW CAW CAW caw caw CAW CAW CAW
Fuck! What the shit are you… oh, I see it now. Look, I’m not gonna eat your babies. I’m just eating these Indian plums. I’m still bigger than you.
CAW CAW CAW CAW CAW! CAW CAW!
Yeah yeah just let me pick a few more and I’ll
(Crow 2:) CAW CAW CAW CAW CAW CAW CAW CAW CAW CAW
(More crows in the distance:) Caw! Caw caw caw!
… are you going to teach all of your friends to hate me forever? I wish I’d never seen The Birds. Don’t mess up my hair on my way out okay?

~

Will you make me a pie?
Sure! These are great pie cherries.
I didn’t even know these were edible!
They’re not all that good unless you sweeten them.
:: eats a cherry ::
Yeah, they’re ok.

~

Well helloooo, sailor!
Wild asparagus fronds don’t respond. Wild asparagus can’t talk.

~

You probably already know this, but those are Indian plums.
Yup! Have you ever eaten them?
Nope. This past week is the first time I’ve seen anyone picking them. They’re a neat bit of history.
:: Woman resumes what appears to be an exercise walk ::

~

What are you doing?
Offgassing some cyanide.
What are you going to do with it?
Eat it. Or maybe drink it, I dunno. After I strain the seeds and get rid of the cyanide so it doesn’t kill me. Does this smell like tomato juice to you?