Caffeinated Pantyhose

My Google-ju on this subject is finally beginning to wear out, but there’s been a lot of people looking for caffeine-impregnated weight loss hose in the past couple days. To whom I say: holy shit I cannot keep my hands calm or fall asleep in a timely manner won’t you please come swap your tights for my Folger’s crystals k thx!

After all, with enough of that jazzed-up sweetened flavored creamer chemical in my cup, I wouldn’t ever know the difference.

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