Someone’s A Bit Paranoid
Now tell me, Dearest Readers, what kinds of meat you’ve been eating lately:
It was a while ago that I was busy* looking up mammalian phylogeny, but it seems that our closest non-primate relatives are tree shrews. After that, there’s some dispute as to whether it’s bats and flying lemurs or bunnies** and rodents.
secret gophers infiltrate my prions
That’s why you should only eat grass-fed gophers, O Silly Reader!
That’s a pretty great commentary on the meaning of monkey, all right.
i betcha trained ninja ducklings would be highly effective
I betcha they wouldn’t!
- They have no prehensile tails.
- They are liable to imprint on the enemy and follow it around, quacking piteously.
- They are always falling down sewer grates
Meanwhile, someone has degenerated into idiotic babbling:
That’s just got to be bad for your teeth.
I have two braids for sale. 21-22 inches long, 2inches in diameter. Please advise how I can sell.
Hair for sale
I advise you to sew your braids back on to your head, where they belong. I certainly don’t want to buy them!
My bowels are fine, thanks.
Speaking of lengthy poops, I need new bathroom reading. The Lego catalog has grown dull.
Don’t you imagine the Goth Black family reunions might be interesting (in the Chinese sense)?…
Not really. I imagine them to be full of sallow youths standing around looking dully at no one in particular, while Great Uncle “Goth Black” Fritz stands on a table singing “Schnitzelbank“.****
* Where “busy” means “bored”.
** From the perspective of cladistic analysis, “bunny” as a catchall term for adorable long-eared lagomorphs*** (i.e., Leporidae) is far superior to the paraphyletic terms “rabbit” and “hare”. I am leaving out the Ochotonidae here, but fuck ’em.
*** All lagomorphs are adorable.
**** Which actually happens at my family reunions, except we all sort of mumble along instead of just staring into space.