100 things and stuff

So, the yankee blogger wants everyone to write a list of 100 things about themselves. Who am I to ignore someone who lives so nearby? It’d take about an hour for him (or her?) to drive to my house, beat me up, and drive back - plus or minus traffic and how many times I get kicked while I’m down.

(link via simon lintott)
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1. I have an infected hangnail on my thumb that twinges every time I hit the space bar.
2. My pants are all full of patched-up holes. Soon they will be entirely made of patches, and I will be trendy.
3. I sing sea shanties in the shower.
4. I don’t like cumin.
5. If I’m cooking something, and there’s no garlic, it’s a dessert.
6. My great-grandmother would walk several miles to a grocery store on the other side of town in order to save a penny a pound on meat.
7. I shop at two different groceries, but they’re only half a mile apart.
8. I wash and reuse plastic baggies.
9. My hair just reaches the bottom of my butt. I can sit on it if I tilt my head back.
10. I talk to myself without realizing it.
11. I hate bras. Hate them, hate them, hate them.
12. Ditto for tampons, but I haven’t tried the no-applicator ones yet, so who knows.
13. My laundry detergent is free of dyes and perfumes.
14. I eat fried eggs with jam.
15. Physics makes me cranky, but I almost majored in it anyway.
16. I’ve driven through the coolest road cut in Southern California.
17. I like to think my musical tastes are exotic and obscure, but they’re not really.
18. When other people post these kinds of lists, I can’t read them. My eyes just slide right through.
19. I once smuggled a Cretaceous-era fossil in from Mexico. I still have it somewhere.
20. I was putting vanilla extract in my Cokes long before Vanilla Coke came to market.
21. I can’t count my list entries, so I have to publish occasionally to see where I’m at.
22. I wish I had six fingers on my hands.
23. I’d rather cook than do the dishes.
24. I’d rather do the dishes than watch the football game after dinner.
25. … unless you’re talking about real football, not the American kind.
26. After four years in a marching band, I still am very very uncomfortable whenever my left foot hits on the offbeats.
27. I once got an Australian law student to look sarcastically impressed by naming some Australian cities that weren’t Sydney.
28. I get nervous around posh people.
29. My writing vocabulary is much more British than my speaking vocabulary.
30. With the exception of “flatmate” “dude!” and “rad” my speaking vocabulary is thoroughly Midwestern. I even end questions with extra prepositions: where’s my coat at?
31. I have an unwholesome obsession with sugary Scandipop.
32. I think I remember filling out something like this in elementary school.
33. Fifth and sixth grades were much more hellish than middle school for me.
34. I take a multivitamin, but only erratically - I sometimes forget for weeks on end.
35. A couple weeks ago I almost went on a spur-of-the-moment camping trip to see the world’s largest kachina doll, but then I didn’t.
36. I have, however, visited the world’s largest ball of twine.
37. I heart Claes Oldenburg.
38. I’ve just started using a proper email client, instead of a hodgepodge of pine and shoddy webmail interfaces. I think I like it, but won’t know for sure until the next round of computer problems.
39. I boogie down to elevator music.
40. I own a tie-dyed union suit which I wear around campus every so often. I’d wear it all the time, but it kind of chafes.
41. I used to own a pair of slippers shaped like VW bugs, and I wore them to class. They fell apart after a couple months.
42. I stopped eating beef, pork and lamb after reading Fast Food Nation and hearing about all the delicious delicious worker safety violations in meatpacking plants. If I know the meat was butchered someplace reasonable, though, I’ll eat it.
43. A couple of teenage girls made fun of me on an airplane once. Something about how my glasses were crooked and my mouth was open while I slept. I didn’t catch most of it, because they were whispering and I was half asleep still.
44. I’m more conservative than my mother (fiscally, anyway).
45. I voted for Ralph Nader.
46. I grew up in Iowa City, Iowa, where the city council was six democrats and a socialist for a very long time.
47. I could never do a good cartwheel.
48. I think dogs smell funny, so I don’t like them.
49. I squeak when I’m tickled.
50. I feel really, really dumb for not speaking Spanish.
51. I do speak French (without the subjunctive) and a little Danish (enough to order beer).
52. My ampersand usage has sharply decreased since I started blogging.
53. If I had to get a tattoo, I’d want a viny thing around my ankle.
54. I wish I could dye my hair fun colors without having to bleach the life out of it.
55. Once, in a local election, I was too lazy to do any research so I just voted for the candidates with the most Z’s in their names.
56. I regularly hide, steal, or mutilate the “girls role play” toy aisle labels at Target.
57. Gender roles piss me off.
58. I know a really great joke about contour integrals.
59. I’m a pacifist.
60. I think the great thing about Zen is that you’re encouraged to be stupid and profound at the same time.
61. I like to make silly collages in the corners of my notebooks.
62. I get a little creeped out when people talk about males and females instead of men and women, unless it’s in a medical/biological context.
63. I’ve always liked lima beans.
64. I have a half-assed unibrow that I usually don’t bother to pluck.
65. My gynecologist tried to put me on a higher-estrogen pill because of my facial hair. I told her to shove it.
66. I love double-decker busses.
67. I also love socks.
68. I like having painted toenails, but hate having painted fingernails.
69. I keep both my finger- and toenails clipped very short.
70. My boots were made for falling apart too soon.
71. I love having books, but I hate moving them.
72. I need a seemingly abnormal amount of drink with my food. I judge waitstaff by how well they keep my glass filled. The best ones just give me a carafe.
73. I like my pants cut an inch or so above the hip - it gives my belly room to breathe.
74. I tried to give up caffeine once. It lasted for about three weeks, then midterms hit.
75. I painted my computer purple and named it kachoo.
76. I don’t smoke; I don’t even know how.
77. I like girly drinks, but more often I enjoy the challenge of creating tolerable beverages from leftovers.
78. I saw mountains for the first time when I was 16, in Switzerland with my high school orchestra.
79. I saw the ocean for the first time after I came to California for college.
80. I laugh at my own jokes.
81. I had a very light case of chicken pox - so light that I might still be at risk for shingles.
82. I get seasick and carsick, but not airsick.
83. I don’t do roller coasters.
84. I’ve orchestrated a full Thanksgiving dinner every year since I left home.
85. That’s only three years, though.
86. I still have my wisdom teeth. I can feel them ticking, waiting to explode all over my mouth.
87. I never needed braces.
88. My trumpet has turned a slight gap into a slight overbite. I play with too much pressure.
89. I hate to use sheet music for things I can play by ear.
90. I’m a spice wuss.
91. My favorite Halloween costume was during a cold wet year when I dressed as a raisin. Garbage bags make great ponchos.
92. Another year I made myself a washing machine costume from a cardboard box. I could hardly walk and no one understood the outfit.
93. Now I throw superfrozen pumpkins off tall buildings on Halloween.
94. I’ve never been skiing, on snow or water.
95. I’m getting bored of this.
96. Double letters make me happy.
97. I like things that go boing.
98. I like things that are shiny.
99. I’m a happy drunk.
100. I won’t be writing another list of 100 things for a good long while. This was too much time for the fun (though it was kinda fun).