Someone’s Trolling My Bridge

And here we have mail from a few people who know where a few of my buttons lie, and a few more people who don’t:

i love olivine

Button, button, who’s got the – DUDE OLIVINE IS AWESOME!!!1!* Someday I want to live in a house with rock walls made of peridotite. Doooooood.

santa, i’ve been a good girl, please STOP!

Not a button. I really don’t have anything interesting to say; I’m not sure an interesting response is even possible. At least not while this blog sticks firmly to its R rating. Next?

i need facts

Okay. Facts:

  1. There are 160 calories in a serving of tiny conversation hearts.
  2. The King of Cambodia was wearing a suit the other day while he made a pronouncement:

    After watching television images of gay marriages in San Francisco, the 81-year-old monarch has decided that single sex weddings should be allowed in Cambodia too.

    I would like to use this opportunity to crusade against royalty who wear modern business attire. It should be intuitively obvious that silk or velvet robes, funny shoes and sceptres are more appropriate.

  3. Thelonious Monk was born on February 21, 1917.

I hope that’s enough facts to get by on.

i hate monkeys

FUKKKK YOU, gloppy robot man!!!!!** I don’t care if monkeys only got a one-star rating; it is unpossible to hate monkeys and still be human. But I assume you’re just needling me, so I won’t respond with the sooper-seekrit anti-robot explosive ray guns.

give me a break

Yeah. I didn’t bring out the cartoonish death devices. That’s a pretty lucky break for someone who claims to hate monkeys. Now scram.

i like cats

Cute kitty pictures are not going to help you on this one, bub. I’m loading my apparatus – can you hear the menacing squeaks and boings? Good.

Now – are there any more comments from the peanut gallery?
*menacing stare*

* The 1 is not a mistake, it is snark.
** No snarky AOL-based code-switching here. Monkeys are serious business.

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