Lightningstrike inspiration. I can become more popular by making fun of other bloggers! So for my first post in this newly discovered popularity contest, I will make fun of bloggers who make fun of other bloggers, and then I shall make fun of bloggers who make fun of bloggers for making fun of other bloggers. You are all encouraged to spread the meme, and make fun of bloggers who make fun of bloggers for making fun of bloggers who make fun of other bloggers, and so on.
I’ve noticed a particularly irritating thing about bloggers who make fun of other bloggers. They all have a character flaw that is related to their eagerness to talk, and their subsequent skittishness towards real and meaningful action outside blogland. However, it goes deeper than that; the flaw is also connected to their excessive use of Metafilter and other trendy discussion sites, and their juvenile, cliquish behaviors such as joining web rings and making fun of other bloggers. It allows them to adopt fashionable political views at a moment’s notice, without ever defending them as adeptly as I defend my own ideas. It is the gaping hole in one’s psyche that can drive a person to use 10-point Verdana and ugly tinted photography. It is the reason behind the many sexual and romantic failures of bloggers who make fun of other bloggers, and because I wish to show off my impressive command of the English language I will make up a new word for it: stylenze.
What’s even worse than a stylenzic blogger, though, is a pretentiously anti-stylenze stance. Anti-stylenzic bloggers have simply replaced the stylenzic ideal with their own, equally ugly aesthetic, and they form cliques that differ from stylenzic cliques only in their levels of bitterness and cynicism, where they complain about other bloggers who complain about other bloggers. In short, they are hypocrites, and I recommend that they remove the plank from their own blogs before examining the splinter in others. I, however, only gently prod other bloggers to notice problems which I have already corrected in my own writing.
[ungh… falling asleep…can’t write satire… unnnngg… *snark*… *zot*]