Ah, My Virgin Eyes!

Okay, even though I spend most soccer matches agitating for both teams to rip each other’s shirts off and play with half-naked homoeroticism, I did not need to see three (three!) close-up shots of the French goalie’s bum on a large-screen TV. Crazy.

Anyone planning to watch the match on replay: random spoilers ahead.

  • The ESPN announcers are just begging for a scary close encounter with Pia Kjaersgaard – not only can they not get the Danish names (understandable for Sørensen, more annoying for Gravesen) they keep sloshing back and forth between mistakes. “Yorgensen” and “Yurgensen,” they’re both wrong, but for flying out ridiculous can’t you just pick one and stick with it?
  • At a couple points, I was pretty sure I heard a wild “DK!” chant – in English. Am I missing something, or does Denmark have a large international fan base? Maybe it’s just a bunch of people who hate the French…

    And finally:

  • Do not offend vengeful Brazilian psychics. Ever. They were clearly the strongest part of the Danish defense, bouncing those two shots off the post to get even for ’98.


  1. Rasmus wrote:

    I’ve been told that the Danish team have indeed become popular, mostly due to having lots of public training sessions and signing lots and lots of autographs. But that’s just what I’ve heard.

  2. Timprov wrote:

    Ditto. Um, that is, ditto on the not needing to see. I really have no need for homoeroticism. At least not that doesn’t involve Tim Robbins.

  3. Tinka wrote:

    Perhaps they did not show it Stateside, but two of the Danish players shared a kiss after one of the goals. Homoeroticism, indeed.

  4. Ralph wrote:

    Tinka, what, soccer matches are PG13 now?

  5. francis s. wrote:

    Aw, c’mon. I don’t think it would be possible to show too many closeups of the French goalie’s bum on a large-screen t.v. No, indeed.

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