Fantasy Cabinet
I already fucked up Not One Damn Dime Day by buying gas, of all things – not only buying it, but spilling a bunch onto the pavement ’cause the auto-pump-shutoff gadget failed. Sorry, fishies! But there’s a much better game, over at Rad Geek People’s Daily (among other places). So like the title says, let’s play fantasy cabinet!
- President: Dennis Kucinich
- Vice President: Barbara Boxer - if I give her the vice-presidency, she’ll have to let me bear her love-child!
- Secretary of State: Hillary Rodham Clinton
- Secretary of the Treasury: Paul Krugman – voluminous op-ed output is convenient for later rounds in the fantasy cabinet tournament
- Secretary of Defense: Wes Clark
- Attorney General: Nadine Strossen
- Secretary of the Interior: Wangari Maathai
- Secretary of Agriculture: Eliot Coleman
- Secretary of Commerce: Atrios
- Secretary of Labor: Ralph Nader
- Secretary of H.U.D.: Bunnicula Jimmy Carter – I can’t imagine Vampire Jimmy Carter feeding on human blood. He feeds on carrots instead.
- Secretary of Transportation:
- Secretary of Education:
bell hooksGene Ray - Sorry, bell, you are educated stupid - Secretary of Energy:
- Secretary of H.H.S.: Howard Dean
- Secretary of Veterans Affairs: John Kerry - How many failed Dem contenders can I fit in one cabinet? Hmm…
- Department of Homeland Security: Robert Byrd
- Chief of Staff: Jesse Jackson, Sr.
- EPA: Carl Pope
- Office of Management and Budget: Zombie Herbert Hoover - I am so bipartisan
- Drug Czar: Zombie Richard Nixon. - It’s hard to cook up a good batch of meth when there’s a zombie tryin’ ta eat your brains!
- U.S. Trade Representative:
- Director of Central Intelligence: the Medium Lobster
- Ambassador to the UN: Carol Moseley-Braun
- Undersecretary of Homeland Security for Emergency Preparedness: Smokey the Bear
- White House Counsel: Oliver Babbish – Not that I watch the West Wing. But you can’t very well have a character from Gilmore Girls in your fantasy cabinet, can you?
- National Security Adviser:
Okay, I’ve got everyone but Energy, Transportation, Trade Rep, and NSA. Help! Help!
LDH wrote:
Some modest proposals:
U.S. Trade Rep – Bob Barker
Chief of Staff – Ron Jeremy
Secretary of Energy – Richard Simmons
Posted 20 Jan 2020 at 1:48 pm ¶
yami wrote:
Don’t you mean Monty Hall for the Trade Rep? Good idea w/ Ron Jeremy, we do need someone flamboyant as Chief of Staff, but I’m trying to avoid further gender skew… hmm…
Posted 20 Jan 2020 at 1:59 pm ¶
denisdekat wrote:
I sold my car, it feels really good. I only take mass trasnportation no matter how much it hurts. But then again, I live inthe city…
Posted 20 Jan 2020 at 2:50 pm ¶
Rana wrote:
Sec. of State: Theresa Heinz Kerry.
EPA: Carl Pope (Sierra Club director)
Posted 20 Jan 2020 at 6:36 pm ¶
Hugo wrote:
Attorney General: Nadine Strossen
Chief of Staff: John Wooden
Posted 20 Jan 2020 at 6:54 pm ¶
yami wrote:
Rana and Hugo: Thanks! Pope and Strossen are indisputable. As for THK, well, I like her but also find her somewhat creepy. And I have a kneejerk anti-sports-figure policy for all my fantasies
Posted 20 Jan 2020 at 10:23 pm ¶
LDH wrote:
Yes, you’re right — I did mean Monty (dernded old brain engrams, anyhoo…)
Posted 21 Jan 2020 at 12:41 pm ¶
ester wrote:
how bout jimmy carter for HUD? he’s so good with the house building.
and for white house counsel, oliver babbish. yes, i am a dork.
Posted 25 Jan 2020 at 1:17 pm ¶
yami wrote:
Jimmy Carter isn’t a zombie yet, though. D’you think he’d be willing to sacrifice his retirement for a living death in HUD?
Maybe he could be a mummy or a vampire. Undead diversity and all.
Posted 31 Jan 2020 at 8:39 am ¶