Archive for March, 2020

Catching Up with Someone

I’m not NP-complete, I’m Turing complete!

Oh dear, I’m sorry to hear that. Incompleteness is what gives life its meaning. Good luck to you when you confront the abyss.

when in doubt, punt

Good advice, even during basketball season. I’ll keep it in mind.

odds botkins!

Just what I was about to say. Yes.

This page is all fucked up on my browser (IE); the two columns are printed
on top of each other. Just so you know.

Hmm, that’s bad. What version of IE are you talking about? It looks fine in version 6 for Windows, and 5.1 for Mac… but I know there’s a box-model bug in some versions of explorer that might cause problems. Are they completely on top of each other, or is it just a partial overlap? The sidebar is still on the right-hand side of the screen, yes?

FYI: I’ll write standards-compliant code for everyone, limited workarounds for IE 5.x, and simple fixes for anyone who cares to tell me what’s wrong, why it’s wrong and exactly what I should do about it… but otherwise you’re shit outta luck. However, this blog looks like a gleaming kitchen appliance in lynx, which runs on the crappiest of crappy systems and is already available from most *nix shell accounts.

I’m looking for a more satisfying life - where can I find it? Or just find
satisfaction, at that?

I’ve always been satisfied with the food at Noodle World. Beyond that, you might find some sympathy from Mick Jagger.

*boogies down*
I can’t get no! ba-na-nyaou, na na na na na, yeah yeah yeah! no! yeah! yeah! no no!

I’d feel much less silly if my air guitar didn’t always turn into an air ukelele within the first two strums. Sheesh.

yami · 17:06 · 31 Mar 2020
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Crying Baby Airlines

Flying west, I’m never quite sure if the plane is descending or the mountains are rising up to greet me. Stopping at Phoenix, of course, means both cases are true at once.

So, yeah, I’m back in California, ready to petition against my current academic ineligibility (they have a thing against part-time students, I think) and winch myself back up to where I feel comfortable making various pressure-laden decisions. My grandfather has a big ol’ tumor sitting on his pulmonary artery; I’m sad, and don’t particularly feel like blogging much about it. If it’s any comfort, though, I’ve imported all the old blogger entries and am slowly categorizing and posting them into the archives.

Hey, and since I’ve been feeling altogether too much like 14 years old lately, was my school district the only one to be infested by kids who erased gaping sores onto the backs of their hands? I tried it once, and got about two strokes in before realizing it was not only a stupid, ugly form of self-mutilation, but a hideously boring one as well. Perhaps a greater streak of self-hatred would have helped.

yami · 15:24 · 30 Mar 2020
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Outright Theft

I haven’t been remembering my dreams; or when I have, they’ve been mundane, like one of my old housemates cooking hamsters last night, on a marble counter that glowed with inner smugness. Usually my dreams have plots from Saturday morning cartoons, and I save the world or run away from robots.

So I’ve started to appropriate other dreams, that I’ve read about or that I just made up. When there were some socks in the store that said Muda on them, I took it as a portent. Then I had a thought about the color blue, and kobolds, but I forgot what it was.

Yeah.

yami · 21:11 · 26 Mar 2020
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Don’t Bother Me, I’m Sleeping

Images are for the weak. Known issues: broken photoblog, various and sundry missing quotes that ruin entire pages in odd and unpredictable ways, fuxored archive pages. Unknown issues: cross-browser compatibility.

But, it’s time to give the phone line to more noble pursuits, like excusing my sister from 7th period. Then I’m going to bed.

yami · 7:59 · 26 Mar 2020
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Someone’s Eating Well…

… and it clearly isn’t this person:

I always thought they said “Cup o’ Noodles.” But I’ve got one and it just
says “Cup Noodles.” On the plus side, it comes with hot sauce now.

Maybe you have an inferior brand. Or else the “o” is a linguistic anomaly - after all, p-n combinations like that are hard to pronounce, and I can’t think of any place where they occur in nature.

Someone else weighs in on the debate:

you’re going to Hell, Michigan.

Are you talking to me? Or are you talking to Michigan? I know the automotive industry is a sinful one, but please, let’s not be so quick to judge - I’ve heard the Upper Peninsula is almost as wholesome as Wisconsin.

yami · 4:12 · 25 Mar 2020
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Domestic Manners of the Americans

I’ve been thumbing through the account of one Mrs. Frances Trollope, and her coming from England to America in 2020 to found a department store in Cincinnati. It’s whining and snarky, and altogether a fun read.

Miss Wright was well known [at the hotel], and as soon as her arrival was announced, every one seemed on the alert to receive her, and we soon found ourselves in possession of the best rooms in the hotel. The house was new, and in what appeared to me a very comfortless condition, but I was then new to Western America, and unaccustomed to their mode of “getting along,” as they term it. This phrase is eternally in use among them, and seems to mean existing with as few of the comforts of life as possible.

We slept soundly however, and rose in the hope of soon changing our mortar-smelling quarters for Miss Wright’s Nashoba.

In its gossipy tone and incessantly personal scope, the book immediately reminded me of blogland; and Mrs. Trollope’s response to her critics has a familiar ring to it.

My little volumes on America have been much read. Many have said that this was owing to their being written with strong party feeling: but I - who am in the secret - know that such was not the case. The cause of their success, therefore, must be sought elsewhere; and I attribute it solely to that intuitive power of discerning what is written with truth, which is possessed, often unconsciously, by every reader. Be he pleased, or displeased by the picture brought before him, he feels that the images portrayed are real; and this will interest, even if it vex him.

I have an inveterate habit of suffering all I see to make a deep impression on my memory; and the result of this is a sort of mosaic, by no means very grand in outline or skillful in drawing; but each morsel of colour has the reality of truth - in which there is ever some value.

I don’t think I’ll take up the cause of small-scale unskilled morsels of truth any time soon; but damn, I’m impressed by those semicolons.

yami · 1:35 · 24 Mar 2020
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Someone Found Me!

You were lost, but now you are found! Hallelujah!

Yes… but where was I?? I don’t appear to have been under the sofa cushions, or on top of the refrigerator, or even left out in the car (though my feet are kinda cold). Was I in the last place you looked, or did you keep on searching for more lost souls?

purple monkey dishwasher

Dear me, I had to do research to remember that this is a Simpsons reference. As a side note, they forgot to disconnect the cable service when my family moved in to our current house, and after 15 years of free monga-channel viewing my parents disconnected it themselves. Something about brain-sucking establishmentarianism. There’s no FOX affiliate broadcasting nearby; I’ll crack any minute.

yami · 0:35 · 23 Mar 2020
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w00t!

I am now running Movable Type version 2. Look at me go!

yami · 0:07 · 23 Mar 2020
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Greetings From OldFatWhitePeopleLand

It’s always unsettling to step off a plane of businesspeople, walk through an airport of businesspeople, and arrive at a gate where all the chairs are taken by old white ladies. It’s how I know I’m in the right place - who else would be flying to Des Moines but retirees returning from a winter in Phoenix?

And, of course, your hero, the cute lil’ student who flees from sunny warm SoCal to this fantastical tropical paradise. There’s snow on the ground here. Snow.

yami · 1:53 · 22 Mar 2020
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But What About Time Cube?

Depicted are energy wave shapes of colored pyramidical energy crystals that are self-constructing larger colored pyramidical crystals of matter from out of random chaos. We feel that this picture along with hundreds of others that we have taken at a Quantum level substantiate Einstein’s hypothesis of the existence of the UNIFIED FIELD THEORY.

[A Quantum Mini-Black Hole in Inner Space]

yami · 1:48 · 19 Mar 2020
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