Wizard of Bras
Yesterday I spent $70 on three new bras. Outrageous, really, but you try spending fruitless hours looking for a bra with no underwires and no itchy synthetic lining on the cup that hasn’t been styled on the popular “Ace bandage” breast-binding model. Then stop by the one store that conveniently sorts its bras by size and presence-or-lack-of-underwires, and see how much you buy.
Of course, I’ve yet to find my perfect bra – the ones I just bought fit well, and they’re reasonably comfortable, but they still subscribe to this ridiculous notion that a bra should provide lots of “support” for the breasts it contains. My breasts don’t want to be supported, or reshaped into floating orbs that hover in front of my chest, or padded, or coddled, or given a second satin skin. They sometimes want a piece of soft cloth to protect them from my itchy t-shirts, but that’s all. They have their own shape and personality, and complain loudly if any upstart fabric construction tries to keep ’em down.
I occasionally impose upon my breasts to avoid the Problem of Disconcertingly Evident Nipples, but I don’t want to dress them up with little bows or make them look bigger even if they aren’t a size DDD. And I can’t be the only one… can I?