Get Your Imperialism Straight

Now that the war’s gone dull, there’s lots of people arguing about which country gets to be the 51st United State: Iraq? The UK? Germany?

What these people are forgetting, of course, is that there are already way more than 50 states. Canada became a State quite a long time ago, possibly even before Alaska and Hawaii, but no one recognized it until the debut of Canadian Bacon in 1995, so Canada is the 51st. Puerto Rico may or may not end up as the 52nd, but it’s had so many silly referendums about the issue that it deserves to have a place saved in line. So we’re currently looking at candidates for 53rd and 54th states, not 51st. Unless there are other states I’ve forgotten about; in 4th grade when we had to memorize all the states and their capitals, our maps were so obsolete they still included the Soviet Union, so it shouldn’t be surprising if I’ve missed a few.


  1. vlad wrote:

    Well, I’m not surprised that your maps were obsolete… I graduated from highschool in 1998, and the History of the Soviet Union was still a required subject.
    Also, as a “naturalized” (god, I love that word) Canadian, I think I’m supposed to say Fuck You Too!

  2. yami wrote:

    Well, when I was in fourth grade, there still was a Soviet Union…
    And I only make fun of Canada because I’m jealous of the health care.

  3. vlad wrote:

    I would also point out the virtually free higher education… well, at least here in Quebec. My yearly tuition is around US $2,500.

  4. yami wrote:

    Well, I don’t pay tuition at all – Caltech pays it for me cuz I’m special. So no complaints on that score… though it would be nice to have some government money for living expenses like the Danes get.

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