Someone Has a Riddle

Oooh, oooh, riddles!

none will ride me. that not true.

I guess... a wild mustang with a limited grasp of English grammar, soon to be captured by a talented horse whisperer in need of a lucky break! Sounds like a good children's book to me.

http://bl.net/forwards/monkey.html

Dead monkey steeds? I don't think so. Next guess?

http://www.yhchang.com/CUNNILINGUS_IN_NORTH_KOREA.html

You didn't tell me it was a dirty riddle! But as Kim Jong Il says, sex is just another dialectic. Which is good because my bourgeois self was expecting bad famine jokes on that page, not bad communism jokes.

i like http://www.whitehouse.gov/news/releases/2020/01/20202020-5.html

You know, I do too. It's the only White House press release I've seen in years that doesn't induce vomiting! Hooray for having some ribs.

chicken fried stake fried chicken

Ribs, and chicken fried wooden stakes. Proof that the way to a vampire's heart is through his stomach.

yami · 17:49 · 31 Jan 2020 · #
Filed under: Fan Mail

Learning from Experience

How long does one have to live in the desert before realizing that cactuses are hateful? They seem fuzzy and tasty, but they hate you with a deep, abiding, and very personal hatred, which they express at every opportunity by launching time-release milli-spikes into your wrists. Never underestimate a cactus. I spent an hour plucking my palms.

The jury's still out on the tasty for this particular variety (beavertail?), though it's clearly somewhere between mild and flavorless. Orangerine-clove pound cake with tea, on the other hand... ahh.

yami · 21:38 · 28 Jan 2020 · #
Filed under: Food, Diary

I Don’t Like!

So I've been trying I like!, which is another of those preference network databases. It gives you recommended links via RSS, and RSS is like a magic word with me these days. "RSS Feed!" is way better than "please" and "thank you" with sugar on top. But I like! kinda blows. Its number one recommendation? Google.

What the hell is the point of telling a preference-engine that you like Google? Everyone on the Internet likes Google. Telling me to visit Zeldman because people who like Zeldman also like Google and Boing Boing is like telling me to move to Milwaukee because people who like living in Milwaukee also like cheese and kittens, and I'm no kitten-hater!

The obvious problems with I like! are that the database is tiny, and you can't expunge Slashdotters from your I like! universe. You can't even tell it that Kottke is dull. The fundamental problem is that people are really boring. It's the same reason I've never gotten any of those corporate or P2P Bayesian music filters to work - for every person who shares my tastes in music, there are 10,000 Enya-grubbing New Agers who've accidentally purchased a Cherish the Ladies album (they thought the Celts were a tribe of echo machines).

Actually, I like! did manage to point me to Chocolate & Zucchini, which was worth something. The whole experiment probably would have gone off much better if I hadn't put down Boing Boing on my like-list. The tech-industry nerd factor is just too high on that blog.

yami · 19:21 · 26 Jan 2020 · #
Filed under: Links

Sweet Potato Soup

Yams = tastiest vitamin A ever. I'm currently attempting a batch of this with a tomato and maybe some mushroom thrown in for kicks, but it'll be nigh impossible to improve on the plainer version. De-veganize at will; I certainly do.

A rich, mellow flavor and beautiful golden color characterize this
easy-to-make soup.

2 cups chopped leeks
1/2 cup chopped onion
water as needed
3-1/2 cups peeled, diced garnet or jewel yams
3 cups vegetable bouillon or broth (use homemade stock, canned broth, or broth powder mixed in the water)
3/4 tsp. salt or to taste
1/8 tsp. pepper
1/4 tsp. garlic powder
1/2 tsp. mild curry powder
3/4-1 cup soy milk or rice beverage
dash of cayenne pepper (only if your taste buds are broken)
2 Tbsp. lemon juice
1 Tbsp. chopped chives

In a large pot braise chopped leeks and onion in a little water, covered,
over low heat until they are soft but not browned, about 15 minutes. Add
the yams and 3 cups of broth. Cover pot and bring to a boil; reduce heat
and simmer until vegetables are tender, about 20 minutes. Add salt,
peppers, and spices. In a blender with a tight fitting lid puree soup
in small batches until it is smooth.

Return soup to saucepan. Stir in soy or rice milk and lemon juice. Taste
and adjust seasonings, adding a little more broth if a thinner soup is
desired. Sprinkle chives (or green onions) over each serving of soup.

Update: the tomato is not to be repeated. The mushrooms, however, are worth experimenting with; the soup as is could really use some richer bass notes, and mushrooms are a pleasantly earthy possibility. Next time, I'll puree them with the sweet potatoes, rather than having them in chunks. Dollops of cream are also on the agenda.

yami · 20:43 · 25 Jan 2020 · #
Filed under: Food

Ha ha

So that silly little marriage poll? It failed, miserably, to reflect a particular noxious constituency, and the AFA is disgruntled.

Now, Smith says, his organization has had to abandon its goal of taking the poll to Capitol Hill.

"We made the decision early on not to do that," Smith admitted, "because of how, as I say, the homosexual activists around the country have done their number on it."

I was a bit surprised to find out that I'm a homosexual, and that gaming internet polls counts as activistm, but you learn something new every day. If you missed out on the AFA's homosexual activist lifestyle boat, there's regular departures from the one-stop awful shop. (We should reserve the words Traditional Values for more appropriate organizations, dontcha think?)

yami · 11:00 · 24 Jan 2020 · #
Filed under: USian Politics

PiE Day

Last night, in honor of National Pie Day, I went back to campus to be a creepy pie-making alum. And made a couple pies, natch. Though several creepy pie-eating alums (and some students, even) had been warned in advance, there were still wanderers-by to call in.

Hey! It's National Pie Day! Have some pie!
Pi Day? Isn't that in March?
It's today. Have some pie! It's got blackberries and mystery cactus... no, not that kind of mystery cactus, and not prickly pear either. I saw it at the store. I think the name ended in tl.
Are you guys, like, practicing for Pi Day?
Look, the American Pie Council is the only organization committed to promoting America's Pie Heritage. They don't truck with this nerdy math junk. Have some pie.

Upon further reflection, the cactus fruit probably was a variety of prickly pear - but it was most definitely not labeled "tunas" in the store. Perhaps the Farm Fresh Ranch Market is promoting some kind of Mexican linguistic nationalism in its produce section.

yami · 9:39 · 24 Jan 2020 · #
Filed under: Food, Diary

Sonnet to Foraminifera

Scroll to the bottom for the Sonnet to Foraminifera:

In what deep chasm did your live form dwell;
And when you thought, what did you think of truth?

Three points for nerdy subject matter, no bonus for the occasionally strained iambic pentameter, and minus five for an inappropriate description of foram shapes as "trilobitic". "Sealed in glass" is also suspect.
Total score: -2.

yami · 13:11 · 22 Jan 2020 · #
Filed under: Literature

Three-Coffee Morning

6:32 AM: I hit the brakes just a little too late, and poke Howard Dean in his squishy pot belly (with my car, natch). He was campaigning with the parking lot attendant. I must apologize profusely until I wake up, because I'm not even one of his supporters.

Must. Stop. Paying. Attention. To. Politics.

yami · 12:49 · 22 Jan 2020 · #
Filed under: Dreams

Counting Dirty Words

Was Congress really expecting a serious court challenge based on the distinction between "ass hole" the two-word phrase, and "asshole" the compound word? They're given distinct entries in the
list of words you can't broadcast. I'm surprised the bill didn't also address the smart-alecky use of indifferently enunciated arse-based equivalents. Some Representative's aide is clearly shirking his or her thesaurus-work.

Swear-list compiler, have you no patriotism?

(props to G, who also has a nice picture of a monkey for us)

yami · 20:14 · 19 Jan 2020 · #
Filed under: English

Retro Moment: 2020

Hey, remember the lake applet?

yami · 14:20 · 18 Jan 2020 · #
Filed under: Links