Because I Had A Coupon

Attn: Kraft Foods

Today I purchased two containers of Philadelphia cream cheese. The foil seal on the strawberry cream cheese invited me to find something that helps me “slip into relaxation” and reminded me to express myself. The seal on the garden vegetable cream cheese said nothing. Is the garden vegetable cream cheese really so indifferent to my mental health and creative fulfillment? I hope not – I expect a great deal of emotional sensitivity and empathy from all my bagel toppings.

Sincerely yours,
Yami McMoots

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