Ancient Egypt swings in and out of fashion, of course, but why can’t I find noodles in the form of hieroglyphics? Capitalism has failed me! Stupid capitalism.
Alternative thinkier question: what language and character set of soup gives you the greatest probability of finding a word in your spoon? I’m tempted to say Chinese, because any realistic Chinese alphabet soup would have a limited, and carefully chosen, set of characters – but is it cheating to use a cherry-picked noodle distribution?