I already fucked up Not One Damn Dime Day by buying gas, of all things – not only buying it, but spilling a bunch onto the pavement ’cause the auto-pump-shutoff gadget failed. Sorry, fishies! But there’s a much better game, over at Rad Geek People’s Daily (among other places). So like the title says, let’s play fantasy cabinet!
- President: Dennis Kucinich
- Vice President: Barbara Boxer – if I give her the vice-presidency, she’ll have to let me bear her love-child!
- Secretary of State: Hillary Rodham Clinton
- Secretary of the Treasury: Paul Krugman – voluminous op-ed output is convenient for later rounds in the fantasy cabinet tournament
- Secretary of Defense: Wes Clark
- Attorney General: Nadine Strossen
- Secretary of the Interior: Wangari Maathai
- Secretary of Agriculture: Eliot Coleman
- Secretary of Commerce: Atrios
- Secretary of Labor: Ralph Nader
- Secretary of H.U.D.: Bunnicula Jimmy Carter – I can’t imagine Vampire Jimmy Carter feeding on human blood. He feeds on carrots instead.
- Secretary of Transportation:
- Secretary of Education:
bell hooksGene Ray – Sorry, bell, you are educated stupid
- Secretary of Energy:
- Secretary of H.H.S.: Howard Dean
- Secretary of Veterans Affairs: John Kerry – How many failed Dem contenders can I fit in one cabinet? Hmm…
- Department of Homeland Security: Robert Byrd
- Chief of Staff: Jesse Jackson, Sr.
- EPA: Carl Pope
- Office of Management and Budget: Zombie Herbert Hoover – I am so bipartisan
- Drug Czar: Zombie Richard Nixon. – It’s hard to cook up a good batch of meth when there’s a zombie tryin’ ta eat your brains!
- U.S. Trade Representative:
- Director of Central Intelligence: the Medium Lobster
- Ambassador to the UN: Carol Moseley-Braun
- Undersecretary of Homeland Security for Emergency Preparedness: Smokey the Bear
- White House Counsel: Oliver Babbish – Not that I watch the West Wing. But you can’t very well have a character from Gilmore Girls in your fantasy cabinet, can you?
- National Security Adviser:
Okay, I’ve got everyone but Energy, Transportation, Trade Rep, and NSA. Help! Help!