gotta pee

My dorm has coed multi-stall bathrooms, and over the course of the year, everyone gets pretty well used to barging around with only a minimal regard for privacy. So I’ll be sitting there trying to poop, or drawing graffiti, or whatever, when some guy comes in a couple stalls down to pee. This is not a big deal.

But no matter how cavalierly the guy walked in, if I get up and flush before he leaves, he always always always waits for me to wash my hands and leave the bathroom before cracking open his stall door. Because God forbid you actually see who you were peeing with, even if you already know who they are.

It’s always the guys who do this, too; maybe it’s an extension of that gender-skewed public restroom code that they like to make cheap jokes with on sitcoms.


  1. Tricia wrote:

    *shaking my head* Only a guy would be scared to be glimpsed coming out of the stall. Too funny.

  2. Dennis wrote:

    A great quote comes to mind – I just wish I could remember who said it first: “Nothing demystifies the opposite sex like listening to it tinkle.”

  3. Dennis wrote:

    Waitaminute… I think it’s coming to me… is it from “Bloom County”…?

  4. yami wrote:

    hmm, Google only spits out one source:

    Takeko just heads into the bathroom, closing the door behind her. Nothing demystifies the opposite sex like listening to it tinkle. Lilith read that somewhere once. Eventually, she emerges, then shrugs. “Oh come on,” she replies, heading for the couch. “I’ve been around a week, right? And all you’ve done is try and get into my pants.”

  5. Anonymous wrote:

    That is something only a guy would do, although,even though I feel im the only one, I must admit, I do the same.

  6. yami wrote:

    Psst – all you people googling for “gotta pee” – are you looking for something in particular, or are you just bored?

  7. kyro wrote:

    Very bored. And my roomates in the bathroom and i gotta go.

  8. joanna wrote:

    i gotta peeeee

  9. Jennifer wrote:

    I am at school and I do have to pee and I am bored and tired!!!

  10. emdude wrote:

    i need to pee bad…………………………………………now i dont!!!!lol!!!(i dint pee myslef i

  11. emdude wrote:

    f you thught)

  12. Spiderra Opheliette wrote:

    in response, i am bored. well, not BORED, but i like reading these dumb little stories wheni dont have much better to do….
    -Spider Ophelia (Spiderra Opheliette)

  13. Kayla wrote:

    im soooo bored and i need to pee…but im feeling semi-exetremely lazy and dont feel like getting up even tho the bathroom door is literally 5 feet away from me… istead of actually going pee….i decided to see wat everyone else in the world has to say about needing to go pee…and i put “i gotta pee” in the search bar and i found this rwally random article….and im a gurl and i usuallly stay in the bathroom stall until everyone else in the bathroom leaves b4 i do….cuz i honest just dont want ppl to know that they were listening to me tinkle….and i dont want to see who i just heard tinkle…. lol…. humans r wierd!!!!!!!!!

  14. me wrote:

    one time it had to go soooooo bad. i thought i was gonna explode. i was at an outdoor plaza and couldnt find the bathrooms. there was no where private either. i was dieing! ppl were starin cuz i was holdin myself so tite my hands were jammed in my crotch. the al of a sudden a jet of pee squirted into my pants and it shocked me and anotherone jetted out. then it started 2 leek like dribble sort of. i thought i cold control it so i waz gonna try and find a bathroor 1 more time but when i took a step another jet squirted out and then i just exploded. everyone watch cuz i peed for 5 min, and 48 sec.(i hav a reely big bladder and i counted)(imagine how bad i had to go!) the patch grew from my crotch, dribbled down the inside of my legs, into my shoes, and made a HUGE puddle around me. i was mortified. best relief ever.

  15. freddy wrote:

    one time i really had to pee and i was at the woods and i thought i was going to explode so i felt a dribble in my inderwear and i knew i had to go so i snuck behind a tree and unzipped my pants. i sat there until i hear something so i held the rest in then i ran back home my brother was already in the bathroom so i just peed in the sink hahahah
    the end

  16. funderghilof wrote:

    one time i had to pee soooooooooooooooooooooooo bad and i was in a place with no bathroom , shopping and we couldn’ t leave yet and i was begging so i just left a trail of pee 1/2 a mile long throughout the whole store. true story!! sad i know but i was only like 6 so i didn’t really think much of it

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