I've been doing too many things to blog, with the Ditch Day and the trip to Mono Lake to collect bacterial muck samples and the car-fixing-upping and the critical commentary with/on gay boys in West Hollywood. Then there's the extra car-fixing-upping and the senior fêtes and the implanting a radio transmitter in my sternum for the student loan repayment people and the begging the DMV not to kill me for waiting so long to transfer title to the Metroid and the finals and the finals and oh god, the finals.

I'll be back on June 6.

Well. I couldn't get my car smogged, because the "check engine" light is on; I need to find a mechanic. But I did find the elusive Ginger Altoid at a 7-11 in San Gabriel, kitty-corner from the smog place, so something good came out of the endeavor after all. Yowza!

So I'm going to turn the Metro into... something. With paint. Inspirations: Planet Karmann, Purple Passion, GreenMobile.

I don't know if I wanted to see this movie or not, but I was obligated to go see it anyway, so without consideration of my own desires I hopped in the car. The blog police would levy a big fat fine if I didn't write a review.

Before I put in a spoiler barrier, I'll just say that the theater sucked. I forgot to wear socks, and my feet were even more freezing than barefoot-movie-normal. A speaker blew out during the previews, and then the sound system got super confused and kept cutting in and out during the movie. On the other hand, my squeaky wheel of a date scored us free tickets to whatever/whenever/wherever with the theater chain. So that was okay.
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I'm in that disagreeable state where I need a nap, and I want a nap, but every time I lay down I just wake up again. On the other hand, the thrill of banging on the doors of innocents for no good reason, and watching them scrub their study-weary eyes in disbelief, was worth every minute I spent cursing my 6 AM alarm. Fake ditch days are fun, even if no one was convinced by my silly fake stack.

But enough about that. The pressing issues of the day are automotive (the check went through, I get the title tomorrow!). I'm dead-set against those Calvin peeing stickers, and most of the slogan-stickers I see are dumb - on the other hand, I'm probably going to drive this car into the ground, so I'm not terribly worried about sticker-goo depressing the resale value. Hippie flowers are always nice, and flames would have incredible irony value.... How should I decorate?

Second, am I the kind of person that names cars? My old high school pickup didn't have a name; I occasionally tried to refer to it as Mulchmobile, but it never stuck. But then, I knew that truck for a long time before I ever drove it, so that doesn't really count; I had no right to name it. What kind of person does name cars?

SQUEEEEE!!

I am the owner of a shiny, red, dice in the mirror 2020 Geo Metro. It has a coat hanger antenna and needs a couple new tires (like, patches of cord showing through ready to explode type need) but it only cost me 12% of my life savings (not counting new tires) and has all the makings of a reliable companion vehicle. And the people I bought it from had a fantastic turquoise 50s couch, so you know they're cool.

With a car I feel dangerously close to a fully qualified Los Angeles citizen - all I need now is a better tan and a boob job.

Protostomes and Deuterostomes: a real dumb way to classify animals. Maybe developmental biologists can tell the difference between an organism whose first hole becomes a mouth, and an organism whose first hole becomes an anus - but I sure can't. Though, now that I think about it, this confusion might just be responsible for every single imperfection in my life so far.

And in case you're curious, humans are deuterostomes - our initial embryonic opening develops into an anus. We share this characteristic with all other chordates, and also echinoderms. That is why there are always more horses' asses than there are horses.

There's got to be deep meaning in the fact that "trickle" and "tickle" are nearly the same word. And I've got a couple weeks of stale comments here.

A message from some monkeys: http://www.engrish.com/recent/source/monkey-sign1.html

We do not hope to be suh a monkey. http://www.engrish.com/recent/source/monkey-sign2.html

Tee hee. Silly Japanese monkeys! And I suppose I'd be remiss in my duties if I didn't comment on the latest monkey link fad - you know, the typing monkeys experiment. You can find the monkeys' finished novel (mostly the letter S) here, along with pictures and some artsy-fartsy mumbo-jumbo justifying the £2020 project. More public money should go towards art with monkeys.

But on a more serious note:

what is the difference between dynamic and static content

Er, actually those are arbitrary pigeonholes. I just needed a category for all the stuff that doesn't belong to the blog proper. Next question?

I LIKE BIG HAPPY ROCKS

Me too! I also like little happy rocks. Do you like little happy rocks too?

what is it used for

Happy rocks are special rocks to share with a friend or someone special, apparently, though I'm not sure that qualifies as a proper use.

i love pigs

But pigs don't love you; they're mean-tempered animals. It's a good thing they're tasty.

i adore monkeys

Yes, but can you do a monkey dance? That's what I want to know.

*monkey dances out*

Should I get a pet bunny?

Why is it that all of the cheap little cars are an hour and a half away from me in Riverside? It makes this whole purchase process very tricky, since even if I find a decent prospect it sells by the time I can find a ride out to visit it.

Pah. That car probably had all kinds of severe mechanical problems the woman wasn't telling me about. The alternator would have exploded as soon as I got behind the wheel. And I didn't want a red one anyway. Stupid car.

Oh, and in case my last entry was confusing - I'm not actually done with classes yet. I coud still theoretically flunk physics and not graduate, and in any case I've got three weeks of class plus finals to deal with, and won't graduate until the middle of June. It's just that my schedule is very light this term.